Many people state unequivocally that if they were ever cheated on, that would be automatic grounds for a breakup/divorce no matter what the circumstances. Odds are good that those who make that claim have never actually been cheated on. Life is rarely black and white, and decisions are rarely that cut and dried.

Whether to forgive an infidelity is a very personal choice. No checklist can tell you what circumstances you can forgive or which ones should be automatic deal breakers. All you can do is follow your heart.

The reality is that many people can and do forgive cheating. Whether the infidelity was a one night stand or a long term relationship seems to be a factor. Where it occurred often matters as well as with whom. Other commonly mentioned factors are whether the partner confessed of his or her own free will or only after being caught; whether the cheater is willing to go through counseling; and even whether the offended partner has ever cheated.

If you choose to forgive infidelity, progress slowly and cautiously. Recognize that trust will take a long time to regain. Proceed only if your partner is understanding of your newfound trust issues and insecurities. Be careful and take care of yourself.

Posted by Lisa.