Sometimes you just know that a relationship is no longer working. You may be afraid to leave but you know that it is the right thing to do. Continuing to drag it out would only cause heartache and pain for both of you. Yet you continue to care for your partner and do not want to make things difficult. Clearly, you need an exit strategy that shows respect for both parties.

First, tell your partner calmly that you would like to discuss something serious. Plan a time for an uninterrupted talk. Never break up by email or phone, or drop the bombshell right before an important appointment.

When "the talk" begins, state your position firmly but with love. Let the person know that you are no longer interested in continuing a romantic relationship but that you do not think any less of him or her as a person. You may have to reiterate this position a few times.

Don’t use the line "Let’s be friends". If you are meant to be friends, the friendship will naturally develop as the pain heals. Right now, no matter how good your intentions, it will only sound insulting.

Refuse to be drawn into an emotional debate. Allow the other person to express his or her feelings but do not get into a back and forth or an argument. Continue to reiterate that you do not find fault with the person, only with the relationship.

Don’t lie. Retain your honor by not promising to call if you aren’t going to or otherwise disrespecting the other person. Simply refuse to make promises or statements that you are not sure if you can keep.

Know when to leave. Whether you stay all night or leave quickly, the pain will still be present. You two can talk in circles and get nowhere. Express your position and allow the other person to express his or hers, and then leave the situation. Further discussion can happen later when you are both less emotionally charged.

Posted by Lisa.