It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the dating world. Whenever my wife and I watch a show about dating, though, we’re extremely thankful that we’re out of that scene. With shows like "Confessions of a Match Maker" and "Hell Date", it just looks like a bunch of people trying to 'hook up' and be intimate. It really makes us wonder how some of these people even find people to date in the first place.

Fortunately, we had the Internet in our day. Chat rooms were the preferred method of 'hooking up' when we met in the late 1990s. It was easier to lie about yourself because the other person couldn’t see you making up answers or squirming to remember the lies that they’ve told already.

As a matter of fact, there was a written record of what you’ve already said for quick reference. This was also well before the time when pictures were common online, so each person had to settle for a glorified description of what the other looked like. In my case, this was a definite advantage.

Dating for us consisted of making 'chat dates' and 'phone dates' where each of us would be sure to be online or at home so we could talk to each other. She lived over 800 miles away, so until a better situation was viable, we had to be satisfied with weeks of hearing each other’s voice and seeing how each other spelled when they typed.

By the time we actually met in person, the dating part was over. We’d already known each other so well that it was almost like the face-to-face meeting had already happened. I’m glad, too. I couldn’t handle the dating scene back then - and I’d probably be even more awkward and shy about it now.

Posted by Tom.

Tom is a reader of this blog and submitted this post. We'd love to hear from you. Feel free to share your thoughts, feelings or stories about dating. Reach us through our contact form.

My most recent breakup was a real eye-opener. We were definitely in love. I still believe that. Things were magical. We spent entire nights sipping red wine in the corner booth of a smoky bar and discussing everything from his childhood experiences with Communism (he’s from the Czech Republic) to our religious beliefs.

We discussed plans for the future, our hopes and dreams. We brought out the best side of each other. We seriously discussed marriage and children on more than one occasion. It was probably the most stable and secure relationship I have ever had.

Then we moved in together. To a small two-room furnished apartment, with an overbearing anal-retentive landlord who was always around. I would love to blame the landlord, but I really think the breakup would have happened anyway.

From the moment we moved in together, the arguments started. I wanted to decorate with the previous year’s Mardi Gras beads. It turns out he’s a minimalist. I assembled a bookcase and placed it at an angle in the corner. He nearly had a heart attack.

Our fighting continued, over much more than decorating. I learned that he is actually paranoid, clingy, jealous and demanding. He learned that I am fiercely independent, people-oriented and unwilling to do his ironing.

The final straw was when he learned that I love the movie Fight Club. He left that night, appalled that he was sharing a home with a girl who so obviously has violent tendencies!? LOL

The breakup was incredibly civil. I moved out. (I was unhappy with the landlord anyway.) He refunded my security deposit and rent for the month I left. We still talk, and things have been decidedly un-dramatic.

I still love him dearly, but I learned that I cannot live with him. He says the same about me. So what went wrong? Why did things change so drastically when we moved in together, and could it have been avoided? I have no idea, but I have decided to stay single until I figure it out.

Posted by Michelle.

Michelle is a reader of this blog and submitted this post. We'd love to hear from you. Feel free to share your thoughts, feelings or stories about dating. Reach us through our contact form.

I had given up on the dating scene. Sure, I was only in my mid-20s and maybe my contempt for dating was a little impulsive, but I stand by my decision that online dating works. Why? Because I met my wife online.

Friends suggested I experiment with different ways of dating. Speed dating was suggested, but somehow the idea of packing into a bar and working my way up an assembly line of desperate singles didn't resonate all that well with me. Quick lunch dates were suggested, including ones that could be worked out by an agency. Nah, try again. Something about that didn't jive. After a few flops in the dating world, I was done with the whole venture for a while. Go ahead. Call me a quitter.

I retreated to my incredibly succinct and amazingly hip private life of working during the day and logging on to internet chat rooms during the evenings. Ah, this was more like it!

Gone was the thumping club beat that so often accompanied my many failures with females, gone was drink in the face, and gone was the ugly sting of rejection. Here, online, I was liberated.

Logging into a chat room became a nightly occurrence, often accompanied by a bag of Doritos and a beer. Conversations were fast and furious, especially those emanating from 'Hot Singles Chat Room 19'.

One day - a day that would change my life forever - a chat window opened to a charming young woman who called herself 'Odango'. She said that she had seen me being an idiot in the room and proceeded to tell me all about the idiot I was being. Needless to say, she tore me a new one. I blew it off and continued about my business, generally making fun of the whole situation and the idea of people dating online.

Within hours, though, I was sucked in. I tried to argue my shaky position of dating being the mother of all evils. However, 'Odango' and I drew closer together, agreed to meet, and the rest is history.

Lesson learned? Hardly. I still make fun of people who date online. I just opportunely leave out my own reality.

Tom

Tom is a reader of this blog and submitted this post. We'd love to hear from you. Feel free to share your thoughts, feelings or stories about dating.