My most recent breakup was a real eye-opener. We were definitely in love. I still believe that. Things were magical. We spent entire nights sipping red wine in the corner booth of a smoky bar and discussing everything from his childhood experiences with Communism (he’s from the Czech Republic) to our religious beliefs.

We discussed plans for the future, our hopes and dreams. We brought out the best side of each other. We seriously discussed marriage and children on more than one occasion. It was probably the most stable and secure relationship I have ever had.

Then we moved in together. To a small two-room furnished apartment, with an overbearing anal-retentive landlord who was always around. I would love to blame the landlord, but I really think the breakup would have happened anyway.

From the moment we moved in together, the arguments started. I wanted to decorate with the previous year’s Mardi Gras beads. It turns out he’s a minimalist. I assembled a bookcase and placed it at an angle in the corner. He nearly had a heart attack.

Our fighting continued, over much more than decorating. I learned that he is actually paranoid, clingy, jealous and demanding. He learned that I am fiercely independent, people-oriented and unwilling to do his ironing.

The final straw was when he learned that I love the movie Fight Club. He left that night, appalled that he was sharing a home with a girl who so obviously has violent tendencies!? LOL

The breakup was incredibly civil. I moved out. (I was unhappy with the landlord anyway.) He refunded my security deposit and rent for the month I left. We still talk, and things have been decidedly un-dramatic.

I still love him dearly, but I learned that I cannot live with him. He says the same about me. So what went wrong? Why did things change so drastically when we moved in together, and could it have been avoided? I have no idea, but I have decided to stay single until I figure it out.

Posted by Michelle.

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