With a title like that, I thought for sure that the author of this book would be a man. And an angry one at that! Consequently, I was rather surprised to learn that author is in fact a woman - and a Ph.D. to boot.

I've always been interested in books that get extreme, opposite reviews. And this book is one of those. Reviewers rate it either  highly or poorly, with very few in-between reviews.

I haven't looked at the book but it sounded interesting enough to me to bring it to your attention.

There are two things about the book that make it unusual.

One is the fact that the author is looking at dating and mating from an anthropological and evolutionary biological / psychological perspective. This is going to upset some people because individuals naturally want to see themselves as being 'beyond' the influence of other people or evolutionary forces.

I believe that it is very difficult for anyone to be completely honest with themselves as to how or why they make the decisions that they do.

For example, advertising experts have known for a long time that people use EMOTION to make buying decisions and THEN find rational reasons to support what they want for emotional reasons. That is why I say it is difficult to be honest - even with oneself - about the factors in our decision making process.

Bringing this back to dating … one could easily imagine a disconnect between what one says one values in a partner … and those factors that actually motivate one's decision. The true factors are likely to be unconscious.

While a scientist can't make definitive conclusions about specific individuals, he or she can draw likely conclusions about GROUPS of people - by examining the actions of GROUPS of people.

Sometimes these conclusions are NOT what individuals want to hear and they become personally 'offended' by the conclusions.

I have no idea how good a scientist the author is but I have a feeling that is what is going on here to a large degree with the negative reviews. It's sorta like blaming the messenger for the bad news.

The other reason that the book is unusual is closely related to the first reason. Namely, it doesn't sound like the author is politically correct at all. To me, that certainly is NOT a negative. Her lack of political correctness will offend a lot of people - both men and women.

For whatever it is worth, Bill Maher has the best definition of political correctness that I am aware of: "Political correctness is the elevation of sensitivity over truth".

Here are some of the better comments about the book from the reviews at Amazon.

Negative Comments

For all you guys out there who may be short, or not-so-attractive, or not a millionaire, please … please … PLEASE do NOT take this book as gospel …

What you believe, will become your reality. If you want to buy, read and believe this book, then that will BECOME your reality.

Example: if scientists had never told people that the earth was round, they would still believe it was flat. Essentially, this book is doing exactly that; telling you the earth is flat. We've made a LOT of progress since then".

~~~

The message of this book is extremely simple. If you are short, bald, or broke, or some combination of those three, no woman will ever want you. Period. There is no question that the author is right, but that is all there is to the subject. If you like that statement so well that you want it somehow padded and puffed and fluffed into book length, then this book is for you. If not, then you know as much as a result of reading this review as the author knows.

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The author seems to think that all women judge men by his profession and what he drives. She's not even close …

The author's thinking is just that…HER THINKING! I have heard it all while doing the research for my book, and one thing I know for sure, and so should you, is that not all women are like the ones portrayed in this book. The only thing I agree with is chapter six; How To Talk To Women. This is a good chapter.

Positive Comments

As you read the other reviews for this book you will find many people who are upset with what the author has said in her book. Those people are missing the point of the book. It's just as ugly and simple as this: everyone has standards and the people who have the most to offer (in terms of looks, financial assets, personality, etc.) are in a position to demand more than others. Whether you like it or not that is the way things are …

I'm not saying you have to like it, I am saying this is the way things are. The information in this book can help you do a LOT better with the ladies.

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The only true test for any theory is, how well does it explain behavior? I first read Jama Clark's book four years ago and revisit it periodically because it passes the test quite handily. And, more importantly, based on *empirical* testing, it works… even (I could say, especially) with women who say that it's baloney. Sorry, but it's true. Jama Clark's use of evolutionary psychology *really does* reconcile all the seeming inconsistencies of female behavior.

Invariably, when I hear someone pan the book, it's someone who is uncomfortable with the thought that humans are, after all, animals. The book simply recognizes that fact and lays out a practical framework for working with that circumstance… it's a fundamentally necessary work.

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This book is the sole resource for understanding why women do the things they do and make the choices they make. Did you ever wonder why a woman will go home with a grungy biker type when you're standing right in front of her in a $400.00 suit? The answer is in here.

Dr. Clark has studied this subject in great detail. As an attendee of her seminars and a reader of this book, I find that her theories are accurate most of the time. This book explains how to appeal to a woman's "subconscious hard-wired biological needs" in order to establish a rapport with her. It works!

Generally, women who read this book are compelled to deny it's validity because they see it as a tool of exploitation. I suppose that's one way to look at it. The men I know who read it just want to find a mate worth keeping and live happily ever after; which is a much better tenet to operate under than that described in books like "The Rules" (AKA "How to Find a Hen-pecked Yes-man for a Mate")

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The singles business has become an industry and I can think of few things more disgraceful than making money by giving worthless advice to lonely people.

That said, Jama's book is as close to the real deal as any book/tape/seminar/Learning Annex thing you will find …

BTW, I met with Jama. Didn't like her much but she had my number. Took me a long time to grasp this but if you go to a therapist and its a pleasant experience you're in the wrong place. But that's another story …

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Evolutionary psychologist Clark has researched mating habits and surveyed a fair cross section of women. With this book, she conveys her findings in a men's advisory format.

Several years ago, Canadian journalist Wendy Dennis wrote wittily about the contradictions of sex and dating in 90's America in her book "Hot and Bothered". She made it clear that instinctual heterosexual preferences often don't coincide with the mind's "politically correct" aspirations.

Dr. Clark faces these same realities with the precision of a scientist, drawing upon research and survey data to describe the characteristics and behaviors that women find most appealing in men.

Unlike the Machiavellian manipulations of "The Rules", Clark encourages men to cultivate attractive behaviors and suggests how to overcome any psychological impediments that stand in the way. She shows men how to attract women without compromising their honor, compassion, or decency.

This book is a great and practical resource for nice guys who have found themselves alone more often than not.

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Dr. Jama Clark is the high priestess of sociobiology! What The Hell Do Women Really Want? is the best book written on the psychology of sociobiology, or why women want what they want in men!

If you're looking for a book to make you feel good, don't read this book! Jama Clark starts off with a bang–her foreword is better than most books!–and she goes through virtually every variable of dating and mate choice, and even discusses some things most writers are afraid to discuss–like race and ethnicity–as she charts the winnowing process that women use in selecting mates. What The Hell Do Women Really Want? doesn't spend much time with the usual magazine article attributes such as personality or sense of humor, but instead focuses on what Jama calls "bargaining chips" …

I've never seen a sociobiology book that tackles as many variables as this one does, and the only weak point is that the book is a little hard to follow in the middle, but pages 74 and 75 are a must read for any man!!!

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Men have joked about this for years: "Ugh, she called me a NICE GUY", knowing that this killed one's chances for any woman. Well, it's true - a simplification maybe - but basically true. This book is filled with much research based on evolutionary biology and presented in a direct manner. If you are looking for a Touchy-feely, I'm OK-You're OK, Let's sing Kumbaya, relationship book; look elsewhere. Personally, I find this type of directness refreshing. For some readers who may fit the molds she describes, this book will be disturbing. I believe that's the author's intent: shock therapy for complacent readers. Read it, think about how it applies to your situation, and try it.

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In her book, Dr. Clark taught me many things. I learned that the best thing to be is myself. And she taught me to do that by showing me how to talk to women, how to express myself in a genuine way, to ask questions that get women to respond and open up, and what appeals to a woman etc.

Maybe there are some people who don't need help, or maybe they are fooling themselves and their ego is resistive to criticism and change, like my ego was. I did not want to accept what Dr. Clark was saying. The sad fact was, deep down I knew it was true what she was saying.

The book is good and the Dr.'s arguments are sound. I have tried out the suggestions and they work. If you are not a born Cassanova or Bill Clinton, then read this book.

In a final thought, I had quite a few friends who are women read this book. They all were in agreement that this book was quite good and true. I have read quite a few other books about dating since then, to see if they had any merit. I can truly say that Dr. Clark is the high standard in which I judge all other writings now. None can match her insight and truthful insight. Thank you Dr. Clark.

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Most relationship books describe how to move towards the lofty goals of greater intimacy, effective communication, etc. That's all fine and good, but what if you want to know how things actually work TODAY, before the dating public has achieved those lofty goals? What if your problem is in getting a date? What if you want to enhance your relationship, for both of you, in ways that the politically correct books won't describe?

Well, then this is the book for you. Jama Clark has no problems ignoring politically correct advice and telling it like it is, drawing on much scientific material from the field of evolutionary psychology. (Those with a scientific bent should also read The Evolution of Desire by Buss).

The book has helped me greatly. If you've ever wondered why women say they want nice guys but date jerks instead, then this is the book for you. If you are a women that has ever dated a jerk and didn't like it, you should get this book so you can see why you are selecting the wrong men.

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This book is a very honest look at dating and mating, written so that a male can understand what a female expects and is looking for. The suggestions work. This book tells you what most women assume men know, but somehow 90% of all men missed. This book will give you an edge over most other men in meeting and dating women. If you follow the suggestions, you will be successful in dating. You will learn how to approach those women who previously terrified you - the ones you really wanted to go home with. The topics covered are: 1) How to approach a woman for the first time 2) conversational skills 3) non verbal signaling 4) How being a jerk can work to your advantage. 5) How to get beyond the first date and into a real relationship 6) How to avoid getting stuck with the wrong woman 7) bedroom behavior and beyond.

It's a good, well written book.

~~~

What The Hell Do Women Really Want?

Posted by Gregg.